Amelia

'In writing this, I thought the best method would be to try to pinpoint the specific moment I became conscious of my body and how I looked, however, on reflection, I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t comparing myself to others and concluding that I was the overweight, unattractive friend.

This mentality and complete lack of self confidence has over the years caused me to deprive and punish my body to the point of eating disorder, illness, weight gain and a complicated, unhealthy relationship with food, as well as preventing me from taking opportunities that I would have adored, all because I was too scared of peoples’ opinions. It was the latter that was particularly acute this summer that forced me to evaluate my current situation and though at this stage, I wouldn’t necessarily count myself as ‘having recovered to full health or happiness’ as I’m still very much fighting the old mind set and habits, I know that I want to get to the point where I can eat without guilt and look at photographs without hating what I see.

I know the validation needs to come from me and happiness doesn’t come from body image. It’s going to be a long process but life has to be and is so much more than body image, which I definitely appreciate now.'