Olivia

'There are two big changes I’ve undergone at uni, which I think are more valuable to me than my degree will ever be.

The first is a change in my perception of exercise. When I was 16/17 years old, I was obsessed with weighing myself. I would exercise solely to burn calories, and if I hadn’t burnt enough calories in one workout I would fit in another workout that same day. My Instagram feed was filled with fitness models who seemed to constantly be in a bikini on a sunny beach and seemed perfectly happy to me. My phone background was a picture of the perfect body I was working towards to remind me to not eat those extra calories every time I clicked on my phone. However once I stopped seeing the results I wanted on the weighing scales, I completely stopped exercising for about 2 years. By the time I started university, I had exercised probably less than 15 times in a year. Now after 3 years of playing a sport at uni, I exercise because I love it, not because I want to burn the calories off of the meal I ate. For me, exercise is a time when I can de-stress from the pressures of uni, whereas it used to be an added pressure on myself. Learning to enjoy exercise has completely changed the game for me. Instead of being obsessed with the gym for a few weeks, getting fed up of not seeing results and then not exercising for the next few months, I now regularly and consistently exercise because it’s a big part of keeping myself happy.

The second biggest change is how I view body confidence. I used to think that I would only be happy with my body if I was super skinny like the Instagram models I would obsess over. My body has never been super skinny and I realised that I was working towards an unrealistic goal, instead of learning to love my body for how it is and getting it in the best shape I could. I used to think that if I had gained a few pounds, my friends would notice straight away and that’s all they would care and talk about. Yet the people you want to surround yourself with shouldn't care what shape or size your body is, they should only care if you’re happy with yourself. It’s only in the last year that I’ve really realised that my friends couldn’t care less what size my body is. Instead, my friends and housemates care about how I’m coping with pressure and workloads and always ask if I need any help. Most importantly, they tell me they’re proud of what I’ve done. At the end of the day, people won’t remember you for all those calories you burnt on the treadmill. Once I realised that, I created more space and time in my mind which I could channel into other projects that were more worthwhile for me and others.

I can look back at pictures from when I was younger and think ‘why did I tell myself I was fat when I was so much skinnier than I am now?’ But what does that do? Should I tell myself that I’m fat now? No. I can now run further and longer than ever before, I can lift heavier weights, I can play squash at a much higher standard, and I’ve had the best three years getting drunk and eating takeaways at 3am, all whilst being 2 dress sizes bigger than those ‘skinny’ days.

I exercise because I love it, but if I miss a workout it’s not the be all and end all. During the times I’ve been super busy at uni, exercising has temporarily dropped off my radar and there have been probably a few too many takeaways when I’ve been pulling all nighters to work. But that’s okay, because I knew it was just temporary and that I would be back exercising once I had the time because I loved it. It’s taken years for me to figure out that a work-exercise-socialising balance in life is so important. Gone are the days when I would miss out on socialising because I didn’t want to consume the extra calories or exchange a few hours in the gym for seeing friends. Now all you have to do is whisper the word ‘Bargs’ and I’m there drinking the calories away, pulling out some questionable moves and topping the night off with a Taka Taka (and undoubtedly paying the price for it the next day in bed).'