Scarlett

Everyone has a different definition of health. To me, being healthy is getting up in the morning and doing something that makes you feel good when you get back into bed - like you deserve to sleep. The worst nights are when you have accomplished nothing during the day, and so when you climb back into bed, you stare at the ceiling for hours before drifting into a restless sleep.

When I say ‘accomplished’, I don’t mean earning money or doing uni work, although both do contribute. Having a successful day includes seeing a friend for coffee, talking to my mum on the phone and being physically active. I love to play netball, I play in a casual uni league on Thursday evenings which is always super fun and my muscles ache the next morning.

Last year I was diagnosed with mild depression – nothing severe. I remember regularly thinking until 5am, and then sleeping until 2pm. My boyfriend of the time had just broken up with me as my mental health and long-distance of our relationship was too much to handle. I didn’t know it at the time – I was devastated – but it was actually the best thing that could have happened to me. I went back home at Christmas and returned to university in the new year with a strategic game plan on getting better. In the months that followed I eased my way out of the depression and learnt to love myself. I don’t think my mental health would be as sound as it is now if I hadn’t hit rock bottom; not being able to attend lectures because I couldn’t stop crying. On 2 occasions I cried on the bus! In public! Not fun. By August I was off medication and although I have had a couple wobbles since then, I am feeling super healthy. Nowadays I really love getting up in the morning, I wake up at 8/9 almost everyday and just feel awesome that I can actually get up and have a productive day.

Another issue of health that I encounter a lot is body-image. I won’t lie, I love my body, it rocks. I have a nice bum, soft skin, cool nipple piercings and luscious body hair. The main issue is how other people perceive it, which does sometimes get me down (although not for long). I don’t shave, pluck or trim any hair on my body other than that on the top of my head. My leg, arm, armpit and facial hair are left to run wild and I LOVE IT. It’s so soft and sleek. I’m very dark haired so it’s very noticeable. During the summer to highlight my armpit hair I bleached it and dyed it blue! It was so awesome but the colour would run out within 2 weeks each time. But like I said, other people don’t always agree. It may not be that they say anything rude but I find people looking for just a little too long, craning their neck and squinting for a better view. A couple weeks back I was wearing a midi skirt in town while simultaneously carrying a bag with embroidered Labradors on (it’s fucking amazing, trust me), and a guy at the road crossing said to his friend “look, she’s as hairy as the dogs on her bag”. I was so appalled that someone would feel entitled to say that out loud about anyone. So yeah, my body rocks, but other people don’t seem to always agree, but really, who gives a shit?

This is going to be controversial, but I’m going to be honest. Self-love as a concept terrifies me, as I think it implies that loving yourself is always about being kind, taking the easy option to please yourself for the short term. But I disagree. If I had been kind to myself when I was ill, I would have stayed in my room crying forever and never attended lectures, caught up on work I had missed, eaten healthily or exercised. Even though it may seem loving to eat biccies and watch telly instead of going for a run or to lectures it’s not because exercising your brain and body is better for your long term mental and physical health. This is not to say punish yourself if you skip exercising or miss a lecture once in a while, but if its everyday? Then maybe its time to seek professional help. Loving yourself is knowing that you deserve to have a fit, well-exercised body, eat yummy healthy food and be successful in your work. It can be cruel to be kind, but in the right measure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9X4rZAA4y8